Living as a full-time family caregiver for a loved one with disabilities can feel incredibly isolating. Many of us spend long, challenging hours caring for someone with complex needs, often without much social support or understanding from others. So, when a friendly face from the county board — like a service coordinator — reaches out, it can feel like a relief. But while the invitation to connect on a personal level might seem harmless, it’s essential to think carefully before crossing these professional boundaries.
Here’s why maintaining a clear line is crucial:
1. Friendly on the Surface, Monitoring in the Background
It might come as a surprise, but service coordinators receive training on how to approach families in ways that feel friendly, sometimes to gather personal information. This is intended to help them assess eligibility and services. However, it can put families in a vulnerable position. Friendly conversations over dinner or on social media might feel genuine but remember: these coordinators are still tasked with monitoring your compliance with state guidelines and policies. They may even use information shared in casual settings to evaluate whether you’re following specific rules, possibly leading to denials or delays in services.
2. Social Media Isn’t as Private as It Feels
For many of us, social media is a place to share bits of life, connect with friends, and find support. But it’s also a public space that coordinators can access. Over the years, we’ve seen cases where a seemingly innocent post — maybe a casual complaint or a photo — triggered official actions like Unusual Incident (UI) or Major Unusual Incident (MUI) investigations. Without clear rules preventing service coordinators from observing your social media activity, anything you post could be noted and potentially used in decision-making about services.
It’s essential to ask yourself: is this level of access really what you want to give to someone who might even make changes to your loved one's service plan without your knowledge or consent?
3. Joining Social Media Groups with Service Coordinators Can Lead to Complications
There are several Facebook groups in which family caregivers and service coordinators regularly interact. This may feel like a convenient way to stay connected, share experiences, and get advice. However, family caregivers across Ohio have reported that these groups often serve as the starting point for investigations, monitoring activities, and inappropriate comments from nosy folks, including some of the top power players in the state. If you’re considering joining one of these groups, think about whether this is a comfortable environment for you, knowing that government oversight workers and policymakers could be viewing your posts and comments, potentially leading to unintended consequences.
4. Unkind Words Behind Closed Doors
Sometimes, when people think they’re out of the public eye, they reveal biases or attitudes that are less than supportive. We have received multiple recordings of service coordinators using derogatory terms like “greedy,” “lazy,” and “mental” to describe family caregivers. When deciding whether to build a social connection with your coordinator, consider if this is truly the kind of relationship you want.
5. Remember the Power Imbalance
Most importantly, service coordinators hold a great deal of power in your life. They determine eligibility, access to services, and other critical aspects of care for your loved one. Their role is ultimately one of monitoring and enforcement, not friendship. Because they act as representatives of the county board, they operate with a level of authority that means your relationship with them is not “even” or “balanced.” When a service coordinator—even a well-meaning one—steps outside this role to build a social bond, it’s essential to remember that their official duties must come first, and their primary responsibility is to uphold the rules and monitor family caregivers.
Setting Professional Boundaries Is Not Unfriendly—It’s Wise
With all of this in mind, it’s helpful to recognize that boundaries are not about being unfriendly or rude; they’re about protecting yourself and your loved one. It’s unfortunately natural to feel isolated in the life of a caregiver and to want genuine connections. But professionals tasked with overseeing your family’s services are not in a position to provide that. Instead, consider finding support through groups or friends who are outside the system, people who can offer empathy without having a role in your family’s care plan.
Professional boundaries protect everyone involved. They allow you to maintain privacy, uphold your rights, and avoid unintended issues. If a service coordinator reaches out in a way that feels too personal, know it’s perfectly acceptable to keep the relationship strictly professional. This is your right, and it can make a world of difference in preserving the support and services your loved one needs.
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